In early June, I had hip surgery, and in one week I will be back to work. Somehow, almost two months flew by, with healing still to come and a to-do list far longer than I’d expect it to be by now. At some point I turned a corner from “where’d the time go?” to, thinking about when I’m in the depths of stress with charts and labs and burden-sharing, that my question then would be “what I wouldn’t give to have a week off of work?!?” Once I flipped that script, my energy and appreciation for the time I have left immediately changed.
I keep reminding myself that those months were prescribed on purpose: I needed to recover. Wearing a brace for six weeks and feeling nervous about being bumped/knocked into when I wasn’t at full stability, also gave me way more awareness for my personal space in public areas. Trust me, I already pay plenty of attention to my body in public because a) that’s how life works for womxn in public spaces b) as a sexual assault survivor it’s a constant thought and c) I can’t help myself but be on-the-ready to critique how people engage with others’ bodies in time/space continuums. With the brace off, walking but slowly, I’m on even higher alert. So, while it’ll be some time before I can wax poetic about physical healing and its non-linear nuances, I’m in a place where I feel strong in the emotional changes that have happened these past weeks. In many ways, I was able to focus that time on my personal self: engaging in establishing morning and evening practices, being with our fur-babies, scheduling intentional time with friends and alone, and enjoying my home.
There was no way to leave midwifery completely while I was off of clinical work. I attended a friend and colleague’s Blessingway (and read Mary Oliver’s “Messenger,” which was meant as an intention for her labor “work” and also reminds me of my on focus in midwifery “work”), prepped my fall speaking schedule (which includes stops in Oregon and Atlanta and San Francisco), today I presented Grand Rounds (dedicated teaching time for hospital staff) with a physician friend (see below), I chatted with students on video about their midwife paths, and started working on revisions to my website. Next week I have a final three full days off, then am back full time. Can’t wait to write about it all, almost anew, coming back after being away for so long. Some of the sections below I’ll keep in future newsletters based on your feedback and comments. Thank you for joining me here.
This weekend’s song for you: Tank and the Bangas, “Doing My Best.”
As I mentioned in the blog post advertising this newsletter, I have started valuing my time and writing in new ways. To that end, this newsletter will be free and public for the first few weeks, and then will switch to a subscription model. I bring this up now so it isn’t a surprise. Many people have already had strong reactions to my “charging for content”: I just don’t see it that way. I will still write public long form narratives on the blog, but this curated content, to me, is worthy. Would love feedback on these first few issues as I figure out the overlaps of what is worthy to me and others. Please join in.
White feminism (or rather, white feminists: do the work):
Did you read the June 2018 “Open Letter To All White Women Seeking Redemption”? It’s been over a year since that letter, and it makes me wonder where “we,” white feminists, are with our reckoning. At that time, the authors reflected on babies being taken from their parents. And a lot of other things, but I’ll stop there for now. We, as white feminists, and as a nation, are now a year into children and adults, humans seeking safety and asylum, being forced into cages in our country. One year. {pause. really think about that. don’t let it wash over you like the rest of the atrocities that have become so normalized to our humanity. fellow humans are in cages, and it is connected to our own doing. do not in any way think that you had nothing to do with it. we, white feminists, all did.} So, this week, let’s stop there for a little bit. What have you done to affect intersection feminist work over the past year? Have you supported feminist media, evaluated your own white supremacy, engaged in abortion advocacy including reading about the work of clinic escorts, shared the work of local doula organizations, contributed to the Patreon accounts of black activists, donated to legal organizations at the border, and challenged your white counterparts when they engage in subtle/direct racism? Really think about what it is that you’ve done, and if the answer is “nothing,” do something right now. I’ve given you the links, and made it that easy. I’ll give you/me more to read/do/think about every week. We::: you me and everyone who is white::: are far behind in our work. Do some of it right now.
Midwifery / Birth Work:
Human Rights in Childbirth (HRiC) recently announced their 2019 Champions, among them a midwife, a lawyer, an activist, and a physician (what a dream team). Chicago Magazine recently highlighted how “Birthworkers Are on the Front Lines of Chicago’s Maternal Health Crisis” specifically birthworkers of color, serving communities of color in Chicago:
“…Black moms and birthworkers say that medical professionals are often dismissive of black women when it comes to maternal care, leading to a focus on intracommunity care. These birthworkers say their job is to empower their clients to center themselves in the birthing process, whether they give birth in a hospital or elsewhere.
“I think people are done being mistreated by our systems, and that has put a fire into the community,” says Qiddist Ashe, 25, a birth and postpartum doula, childbirth educator, and herbalist. “People see the need [for birthworkers]. And now I think it’s about that culture shift and making more opportunities possible.”…”
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What I’m Writing / Speaking About Lately:
This week I’m presenting with a physician collaborator on “Trauma-Informed Pelvic Examinations - Focus on the Obstetric Patient” at a local hospital. A few resources I use in talks like this include the following:
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Flipping the Script: Patient / Provider
Each newsletter will include empowerment scripts for those who seek, and those who provide healthcare, with the intent to reach the full circle of people our interactions affect.
Did you know… any patient can decline any recommendation from any healthcare provider at any time? Even the most welcoming / supportive / shared model of asking a question, or offering an intervention, a model that ensures full risks and benefits are expressed and understood, can still yield a “no” answer. AND that “no” is valid and should not be challenged, because of this really important foundational element of humane healthcare called “bodily autonomy.” For example:
Provider: “It could help labor move faster if I check your cervix / open and release the bag of water / start pitocin. Risks of this are as follows… Benefits of this are as follows… My recommendation is to at least check your cervix and see how things are going.”
Patient: “No.” (Other optional scripts, though not necessary beyond directly declining, include… “Not right now.” “I’d like to think about that for 30 minutes and then decide.” “I may consider that in a few hours, but not right now.”
“No” is enough of an answer in any setting, including healthcare.
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Support Efe Osaren in her fundraising campaign to fund midwifery training (Also available is her wishlist of textbooks).
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Do you work with pregnant and parenting youth?
Illinois Caucus for Adolescent Health (ICAH) is collecting feedback from other professionals who work with pregnant and parenting youth. ICAH has developed a Birth Justice Toolkit and is seeking participation from health providers, social workers, educators, doulas and anyone else who provides support to young people. The toolkit is an awesome start, but is definitely in need of feedback from people who are invested in safe, empowering birth experiences. Click here to complete the Birth Justice Healthcare Survey.